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General article on dating.
The Single Most Powerful Relationship Skill: Making Intimate Requests
Preparations were in full swing for the wedding event I was organizing. I was ready to place an order for the exotic bridal gown when my client called me to put all preparations on hold! Immediately I sensed something was wrong, and her voice confirmed it. The reason: the groom just walked out of their relationship.
After a bit of prodding, I understood that the issue was the bride’s failure at learning about the single most important relationship skill, about making intimate requests. Instead of communicating her emotional need for his presence at that time when she had a hard time adjusting at her new workplace. What she managed to communicate was her frustration and distress, which led to an exchange of hurtful words and a sudden break-off.
Had she mastered the skill of making intimate requests, there would have been no unnecessary deluge of tears and heartache.
Learn and perfect the skill of making intimate requests to feel confident in your own relationship. Here are the essential points to take note:
Make your request specific.
To be able to articulate your desires and unfulfilled needs which require the participation and cooperation of your partner, first identify what it is that you want him to do, have or be. When you stat your request as specific as possible this increases the chances of it being granted to your satisfaction.
Make your requests from a positive state, lightly and with good humor.
If you are irritated, hold it! Refrain from communicating from a bad mood because any words you say will backfire and erode the foundations of trust. Your partner might feel forced to give in to what you want just to pacify you, but repeated incidents would trigger resentment from your partner. Avoid the most common mistakes of mind-reading, screaming, pouting, nagging or sulking.
Deal with NO positively.
Accept No as a valid answer to your request. Deal with the answer cheerfully. If not now, your partner may be ready to grant your request later. When your mate says No right now, just take it to mean that he or she is not be too keen on working out the issue with you right now. Don’t be put off by a No or feel rejected because of it. Just ask again another day.
Negotiate cheerfully.
When your partner ignores your request or says No if solving the problem is important for you to resolve immediately, don’t give up. Just ask again cheerfully, up to as many times as you want. Rephrase your request each time, so as not to sound like a broken record or to give the impression that you are just trying to irritate him or her.
Practice, practice, practice.
Practice making intimate requests until you perfect the technique and it comes to you naturally. You will be surprised at how much more effortless getting what you want can be when you communicate your desires in a constructive way.
Luckily, my client paid attention to my coaching. They learned this skill fast. They went after the runaway groom. In less than a week, she called to tell me that we may go ahead, order her dream bridal gown. I love happy endings!
A Surefire Strategy on Finding the Romantic Love of Your Life
Are you one in the multitude drifting through life disillusioned about ever finding your one true love?
Cheer up, for here is one foolproof and doable strategy on finding romantic love, grounded on the solid principles of building self-esteem, law of attraction, and plain common sense.
Whether you are looking for that special someone, or wishing to improve your relationship with your existing someone, or wanting to have another someone (polyamorous, aren’t you?), this is for you.
Step 1: Align with your desire for romantic love.
In her book, The Vortex: Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships, Esther & Jerry Hicks espouse the importance of first putting yourself in the emotional vibration of what you want desperately as a crucial first step in manifesting your desire. Conjure up a romantic scene in your mind, or watch a romantic movie, or stare at a photograph of someone you desire, while bringing your attention to how you feel. Let go of all bad feelings and just focus on the expansive, blissful feeling of being romantically in love. Allow this bliss to stay with you throughout your day.
Step 2: Cultivate a healthy self-esteem.
You are not ready for romantic love, says self-esteem psychology expert Dr. Nathaniel Branden, if you have low self-esteem. Romantic love only occurs between individuals who feel secure, confident and happy with themselves. If you are unhappy or insecure, nurture your self-esteem to a healthy level first. Begin by doing plenty of self-appreciation and self-affirmation, and build up confidence by being good at something worthwhile.
Step 3: Consummate the love affair with yourself.
A love affair with yourself is possible when you have positive self-esteem to build it on. Giving your time and attention to what you care most about in life is an effective way to show love for yourself as well as attract others who share your passions. Treat yourself with gentleness, respect and consideration to set the tone as to how others treat you – with gentleness, respect and consideration.
Step 4: Connect with others who share your core values and passions.
This is where we at HeartsLoveAffair.com may help you expand your options beyond the boundaries of your own geographic location and culture. The key consideration in finding your romantic partner, more important than physical attraction, is shared core values – aspects that you admire and respect most in another human being, interaction or communion with whom promises to bring you greater joy, as it is now shared joy with someone very much like yourself whom you love dearly.
Step 5: Develop deep friendships. (Optional)
How many romantic relationships blossomed out of those who have been best friends for a long time with no apparent indications of possible romance all the while? You bet, a lot. But as this process may take a long, long time, and if you are in a hurry for romance with someone with whom you already feel the stirrings of romance, immediately proceed to the next step.
Step 6: Ask for a date.
What are you waiting for? The fastest way to get what you want as far as another person is concerned is to ask for it. Never mind if you are a woman. Think of something. Enlist the help of friends. Ask us for advice. Just do it. There’s no better time for romantic love than now.
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