Hearts Love Affair

Dating advice for men comes in many forms. Every time I sit down with a single buddy from work, whether it's at the coffeehouse or in the break room, the subject of dating comes up. Usually I'll hear about what a great time they had, but lately I've been hearing stories of dates that just didn't go very well.

When you are beginning to get to know people on online dating sites, you will do it by sending and receiving messages. In some online dating sites the messages are basically e-mails, but they are sent within the online dating site so that you don't have to give people your regular e-mail address before you are ready to. It is important to understand the message system and to use it to your best advantage as you try to meet people online.

As a rule, men send more messages and women receive more messages in the world of online dating. Some estimates suggest women will receive messages from between 50 and 200 men. If that’s the case, a man doesn’t stand a chance if he doesn’t stand out. Make sure the title of your message and the message itself are unique. Being truly unique is a tough balance, though, because you don’t want it to be phony or not representative of you. A great place to start is to talk about something she mentioned in her profile. That shows that you aren’t just sending a form letter, but you took the time to read about her. That alone will make you stand out.

With women getting so many messages, you are going to send several messages you won’t get responses to. There are lots of women on the sites and lots of them will share your interests, so you don’t want to focus on just one. Start by communicating with several women. That way you have a much better chance of getting a response and are much more likely to get a match. If you focus on just one woman and she doesn’t respond, you have wasted your time.

You will send lots of messages that won’t receive a response. You will have several exchanges that will end after just a message or two. Don’t let that bother you. It doesn’t mean you are unworthy or women find you unattractive. Most often, it just means the women have too many messages to respond to or they are too busy. If you are both patient and persistent you will eventually have some success. Just keep trying.

A lie or exaggeration might get you somewhere initially, but in the end it will only get you in trouble. If you tell someone you are a bodybuilder and you aren’t, they will be able to tell as soon as they meet you. You don’t want to spend time with someone unless they like you for who you really are, so let her know who you are from the start. Work on telling her the truth in the most interesting way you can instead of telling her a more interesting, but untrue story. Nothing is worse than a braggart. No one wants to hear how an endless recitation of someone's accomplishments. No one wants to sit through an evening of insincere comments and commentary. You don't have to be blunt, but you do have to simply be yourself.

You are trying to get to know someone, so don’t give her a reason to run away. Stay away from sex, politics or anything else controversial when you are first getting to know each other. If you have a ‘unique’ hobby or job, be sure to wait until an appropriate time before you talk about it. Also, be casual. Nothing will turn a woman off faster than a man who quickly seems to be obsessed with her. Don’t send her ten messages in a day or send her pictures of your pet or comic book collection before you’ve even met her.

When you finally meet listen to Her - You don't have to fall over yourself and swoon at every word she says. You do have to be polite and pay attention to her part of the conversation. Don't be checking your watch or start reading the menu when she's talking. Oh, and don't interrupt her. Talking over her to let her know that the next table's Steak Diane just caught the restaurant on fire, is, of course, acceptable. This is probably some of the best dating advice for men that I have received myself.

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Ask an Open Ended Question - Questions she can answer with a simple yes or no mean you're going to have to keep on digging for something to talk about. A question about "why did you pick the career you did" is much better than "Where do you work?" This date advice for men is really one of my most successful tactics.

Try Some Sincere Flattery - This is a tricky one. Too much and you're over the edge. Too little and you might as well not have said anything at all. If you feel uncomfortable paying her a compliment on her appearance, try something a little more neutral. "Nice briefcase" might have to be it.

Remember What Your Mother Taught You - Remember those lessons in manners as well as the dating tips and advice your mother gave you? Open the door. Pull out a chair. Help her on with her coat. Chivalry is not dead and women, even the liberated ones, still like a gentleman who treats her like a lady