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Respect
The Church of Scientology defines an ARC triangle. The corners of the triangle represent Affinity (for the individual), Reality (how we define what is real) and Communication (how we with others to define reality and build affinity). The triangle is not an equilateral triangle. The length of the sides is constantly changing as we communicate. To have love, affinity for another, the couple must communicate to build up their reality, to strengthen their affinity. Communication can be verbal or non verbal. Couples are constantly communicating something. The question is wither or not the communication is building or destroying the affinity, love in this case, of the relationship.
Of course the definitions given here are a small synopsis of the real definitions but the description will serve to help us understand respect.
Respect must be earned. Through our showing respect to other we gain the affinity of the person we are trying to attract. To show respect for others a person must give respect to others in order for the others to learn to respect the person. When traveling there are many ways to show respect.
First and foremost as a traveler you must respect yourself. That means:
-keeping clean,
-knowing your boundaries without berating yourself,
-avoiding situations where you knowingly might be harmed physically,
-avoiding situations where you knowingly might be harmed mentally,
-maintaining a good sense of self-esteem,
-maintain self-control.
With a good strong sense of respect for yourself you are now ready to show respect to others. As a traveler showing respect to others means following the laws of the local where you are traveling. Following the laws in most locals is generally easy. The next step is not so easy especially if you do not agree with the laws or the social customs of the local you are visiting. Don't criticize the local government. Don't criticize others. When trying to find love in a specific local now is not the time to be critical.
Keeping quite about local politics will be difficult for some people as they like to think of themselves as social activists. But in the case of finding a romantic relationship in the local to which you have traveled, solving the local social issues is not your primary goal. Finding love and happiness is the goal. There may be time after your relationship has strengthened to solve political problems.
So if you don't solve political problems what do you do? I have been all around the globe. I have been to countries where the politics is very bad. That is the politics is oppressive to the people of the country. I have been in countries where the local politics has been very open and conducive to the enjoyment of life by the countries inhabitants.
What I do is simple. I show the people I am with I respect them as individuals by simple things such as:
-opening a doors for others,
-standing when their national flag is presented,
-standing when their national song is played or sang,
-following all laws as closely as possible,
-listening to others without commenting,
-only talking when others around me have finished their comments,
-asking questions about them,
-letting them talk about themselves,
-carefully wording my comments so as not to offend,
-lending a helping hand to others in need,
-not discussing the differences between my country and theirs unless specifically ask.
There are many more actions I take to show my respect but I think you get the idea. I am showing respect to the people of the local that I have traveled to. Showing respect to the people is not the same as respecting the government or other aspects of the local. Showing respect to the people means you acknowledge them.
In the United States during the Vietnam era some of the people of the US forgot how to show respect to the individual. As an example when a Vietnam veteran came home some people spit on the veteran. The persons spiting did not understand that the veteran was doing what they felt was correct to protect our home from invasion. The person spiting did not respect the veteran who was trying to make the US safe for everyone. The person who spit was misguided. They did not understand the situation.
So what was the problem with the spitting? The veteran was not the individual who was the problem. The person spitting was showing their disrespect for what was happening in Vietnam to the wrong person. The problem was the US government not those sworn to protect us.
I know you say the veteran blindly followed orders so they were as much to blame as the government. Well not exactly, the veteran like the police and others sworn to uphold the law were protecting us the best way they knew how.
If your home was broken into and someone was trying to kill you. You would protect yourself. You would want help to stop the intruder from killing you. To the veteran their home had been broken into. They were protecting themselves. In doing so they were protecting the spiter. I am personally happy the US has such dedicated individuals. That does not mean I am happy with the government that sent them to Vietnam.
I still stand to put my hand over my heart when the US flag is presented. I am proud of the US. I stand to the playing of the National Anthem. I pledge my allegiance to the US. I show respect to the individuals who make the US strong. That does not mean I don't exercise my right to eliminate the corruption in the government. That does not mean I am proud of the government. Quite the contrary, I have great disdain for what the government does some times. But I respect the individuals of the country. I try to show my respect to them by honoring the symbols that stand for unity of the people. I try to affect change where change is required because I have such a high respect for the individuals who make up the USA. I don't take the mistakes of others out on the wrong group.
Why put an article about respect with a short discussion on the problems of the US Vietnam veteran in a dating site? Because all to often as travelers we take ourselves to seriously. We think we have all the answers. Only our position is correct. In short we make fools of ourselves. We are rude. We, because of a misunderstanding of the situation, show disrespect for those around us. In the long run that means those to whom you have shown disrespect will not respect us. Your chances of finding true love, romance, in the local that you have traveled to will be diminished if you do not show proper respect for those around you.
Be successful in your quest for love - Find true happiness in the relationship you find - live long.
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